How to Create an After-School Routine (And Finally Tame the Chaos)
The Problem: The After-School Rush Is a Real Thing
As a mom to little ones (and even bigger ones), I know the afternoon rush is so much more than just a mess. It’s a flurry of big emotions and tiny meltdowns. It’s the struggle to get everyone’s shoes back on, the snack tantrums, and the emotional dump that happens the second they’re home from school. What if you could meet those needs with a simple plan, instead of just reacting to the chaos?
We all know the hardest part of the day – that after school rush. When everyone is running into the house, throwing off their shoes and backpacks, and searching for a snack. Without a care in the world that someone will be picking up their stuff (usually mom).
But what is one to do? There are a million things that need to get done and not enough time to do it. How can you ask your kid to pick up their backpack when they have to get homework done? That is where an afternoon routine can save you.
The Solution: Why a Routine Is Your Secret Weapon
We all know that kids thrive with a routine, but sometimes in the rush of everything, we forget that. Routine gives kids predictability and makes them feel safe. This leads to them taking more action and more independence, which isn’t that what we all want?
The other amazing thing about creating an afternoon routine – it gives control back to you, the parent. With kids, it’s easy to feel out of control but implementing a simple routine can flip that script. The parent is now in control and the kids are following what to do. And, it will relieve the stress for everyone!
The 3 Core Pillars of an Effective After-School Routine
There are three core pillars of an after school routine that help it move smoothly, the landing zone, activities and connection time. When you implement these three, you will see a change in how your afternoon goes.
Pillar 1: The Landing Zone
The first thing you need to put in place is a landing zone. This is where all the backpacks and shoes actually go. Many times, kids don’t put items away because they don’t know where they go. Change that! Create hooks for backpacks and a bin for shoes. Done!
This doesn’t have to be complicated and you don’t need a fancy mudroom to make this work. As long as kids know where things go, they are able to put them away.
The items that make a good landing zone for kids and parents
- Hooks for backpacks and bags
- Hooks for jackets in the winter
- Bin or shelf for shoes
- Vertical paper organizer for papers from school and mail
Pillar 2: Homework & Activities
This is the part that is different for every family during the afternoon routine. Depending on the ages of your kids, you might have a lot of homework and activities or neither of those.
Look at your schedule and map out your week, figure out which days you’re getting home late (and need an easy dinner) and which days you have all afternoon at home.
Knowing these differences will help you create a routine that works on each day. Just as every family is unique, no two days are the same. Make sure you know what is happening on each day.
If you have homework and activities, that makes your afternoon all planned out. But what if you get home from preschool at 3 pm with a three year old and a baby? What do you do?
I love to have an activity idea ready to go if the three year old gets bored. I usually have painting (if I’m feeling brave) or coloring, a play doh set, sidewalk chalk or water table ready to go. This way, we’re not staring at each other trying to figure out what to do.
Pillar 3: Unstructured Time & Connection
This is another big part of creating an afternoon routine. You need to find time to connect with your kids. They have just held it together at school all day and need some safe connection with you. This can include spending time playing together if you have an easy afternoon or taking time to talk during dinner without devices.
We are all tired, but our kids crave connection. They want to talk to us about their day (even if they’re teenagers and pretend not to). They want to connect with us and hear about our day. Providing this time for them will decrease the meltdowns and frustration on their part. And it honestly makes me feel better too!
But what do you talk about? When we’re all at the end of the day, sometimes our brains are dead! So here are a few ideas, better than “how was your day,” to ask your kids.
- Try some questions that ask for detail and can lead to a bigger story like “What was the best part of your day? The worst?” or “Who did you play with on the playground?”
- Or some reflective questions that encourage them to think about their feelings and interactions. I love “What was one thing you did today that you’re proud of?” or “Did you help anyone today?”
- And always have some silly and fun questions in your back pocket when everyone is tired and you need to lighten the mood. This works when kids aren’t answering other questions to get them to laugh. Try something like “If you had a magic button that could make one thing happen at school, what would you use it for?” or “If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?” These don’t require much thought and are way more fun than asking about what they learned today.
Putting It All Together: Your Personalized Plan
The after-school rush doesn’t have to be a source of daily stress. By implementing a simple routine, you can give your kids the predictability they need and feel more calm in your home. Focus on creating a functional landing zone, planning for homework and activities, and prioritizing connection time with your family.
While putting these pieces together might feel overwhelming, my Afternoon Routine Workbook is a complete, step-by-step guide that helps you build a custom routine that works for your unique family. It’s time to trade the after-school chaos for a routine you can actually stick to.
