How to Hand Tasks Over to Your Kids (Even if They’re Young)

Kids & Family Organization · Houston TX

The way to hand tasks over to your kids is slowly. Pick the busiest part of your day and make one checklist that works for every kid, with more help for the younger ones. Walk them through it until they’ve got it, then hand off one step at a time.

One of the main goals in our house is raising kids who can take care of themselves. That doesn’t happen if I do everything for them. And honestly, doing everything for them meant I had a lot to do. When I first wrote this post, my kids were 6, 3 and 1, so I know this works even when they’re little. Here’s how I hand tasks off.

Now they’re 9, 7 and 5, and all three have chores. My 9-year-old unloads the dishwasher, my 7-year-old takes out the trash, and my 5-year-old wipes down the table.

When should I start giving my kids tasks?

Start with the times of day you’re busiest. For us, that’s before school and after school. With three kids, a lot has to happen in those windows, and that’s exactly when I can’t stop and make sure everyone is doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

The calmer times are easier to teach in. When I have time, I can help them carry their plate to the sink or walk them through picking up their toys before a show. But the busy times are where handing things off saves you the most. So I set up a system where everyone knows what’s expected first thing in the morning, and we get out the door.

We started checklists when my oldest was about four.

What tasks can kids do at different ages?

Think through the whole process first, then scaffold it down for each kid. My 6-year-old and 3-year-old had the same morning checklist. The difference was how much help they got.

• My 6-year-old was in charge of his morning. I gave a few reminders to move with some urgency, but he knew exactly what to do. He didn’t even look at his checklist anymore because we’d done it so many times.
• My 3-year-old could follow his checklist. He needed help with parts, like getting dressed, but he could figure out what came next. The boys liked to race each other, which helped them move faster.
• My 1-year-old couldn’t do anything on her own yet. But I did the same steps in the same order every day, so when it was her turn to follow the checklist, it was the routine she already knew.

And if you’re doing a lot for your husband too, he can get a task or two.

How do I hand a task over without ending up doing it myself?

Slowly. Nobody does well with a task dumped in their lap. If you make a checklist for a kindergartner, walk through it with them for as long as they need, then hand off one step at a time.

With my oldest, I talked through every step with him at first and made sure he got each one. Then I handed off what he could do on his own, like brushing his teeth. We helped with getting dressed for a long time. When a kid gets a task in small pieces, they feel successful, and they’re more likely to actually do it well.

What if my kid pushes back?

Mine does. Of course he does. But he knows the afternoon checklist gets done before he gets a snack, and when dinner is over, his plate goes to the sink. The expectation doesn’t change, so the pushback doesn’t last long.

What’s in it for me?

A lot. Handing over tasks helps your kids get more independent and learn real life skills. It also takes things off your list, and when you think about everything you do in a day, that matters.

I started thinking about this a lot when I was pregnant with our third. Three is a lot, and I only have two arms! So I looked at what our almost-five-year-old could help with. My plan was for all three kids to bring their plates to the sink, and at least two to load them in the dishwasher, by the time my youngest was his age. That’s time back on the nights we’re running to activities after school.

It takes time to teach them, like everything. But they’ll know the expectation and what they’re responsible for, instead of you trying to teach it to teenagers. No thanks! Kids are more capable than we give them credit for. Pick one task your kid could be successful at this week and let them do it on their own.

If you want the checklist side of this, my school morning routine and after-school routine posts walk through both. Or grab my free afternoon routine checklist.

I’m Jordan, a professional organizer in Houston, a former math teacher and a mom of three. I build systems the whole family can use, kids included. If you’d like help setting one up in your house, book a free phone call.