How I Deal with Perfectionism

I have a hard time with perfectionism. I typically want to do everything I “could” do. However, if I do all those things, I won’t make it to Friday. I have to figure out what are the most important things to get done and to what extent.

I am still a work in progress, but here are some tips when it comes to perfectionism.

1. You Don’t Have to Do Everything 100%

As a perfectionist, I try to do everything and do it perfectly. Especially with kids, that is the easiest way to burn out. It is not possible to do everything and definitely not possible to do it perfectly.

So now, I don’t try to do everything all of the time.

Currently, I make a solid B dinner. As long as we have a protein, fruit, vegetable and starch on our plate, that’s a win. Tonight, we are having chicken, broccoli, apple and rice. That is it. No fancy meal planning over here. Just what feeds my family and quickly gets food on our plates.

This was not an easy transition. I tried for a long time to make elaborate recipes, even those that claim to be easy. But when you have a baby in your arms and a toddler on your leg, even easy isn’t easy. I need fast and low touch. That when I decided on my B dinners.

2. Make Your Goals Less Than 100%

In a coaching session, I was talking about my struggle to eat breakfast. With three kids to get out of the door and a husband who is already at work, it is really hard to feed myself. I would rather just drink some coffee, but then I get hungry at 10 am, typically when I’m with a client and not able to eat.

We came up with a goal of eating breakfast two days a week. This was a really hard goal because I wanted to do it every day, which wasn’t working. We discussed that I could find two days a week to eat breakfast. That made it more doable. Although, it was really tough to only plan for those two days a week and not try to eat a balanced breakfast every day. We discussed adding in smoothies or something easy.

My natural inclination is to set a goal for every day, but I’ve started considering just setting a goal for a few days. It still feels weird, but I am continuing to just focus on two days a week.

3. Find Your Priorities

When you can’t do everything, you need to decide what you can do. Think about what your priorities are and what it is important that you do.

One of my priorities is I am focused on my kids after school. Once I pick my kids up from school, I am focused on them the rest of the day. We either have activities or just play together after school. We have our routine and are constantly finding what works.

Another priority is connecting with my partner. Sometimes that means the downstairs isn’t perfectly put away. But getting some time to talk with my husband (and if you have young kids, you understand!) is more important.

Sometimes, even though it’s hard, you need to let go of things that aren’t one of your priorities. The laundry will still be there.

4. Delegate – Even If It’s Not to Your Standards

The hardest thing for me to do is delegate. I have a house full of people, but I constantly feel like I should be the one to do everything.

One thing I have handed off to my husband is cleaning the kitchen at the end of the day. Does he do it exactly how I would? Definitely not. Does he do it when I would like him to? Nope. But is it done by the time I wake up? Yes! And it was something I didn’t have to do.

The key to making this work is I don’t nag him about it. I have asked that he take this on and then I leave it at that. Do I think he should clean it before he lays on the couch and falls asleep? Absolutely. Does he sometimes fall asleep and wake up at 1 am to a dirty kitchen? Yes. And he cleans up at 1 am because he has taken on that task.

I am working on delegating to my kids as well. I have handed off making his bed to my 6 year old. I don’t even thing I need to explain that… but he does it! He also gets himself dressed. Sometimes, his outfits are not my favorite, but I don’t say anything. And, when his three and a half year old brother gets himself dressed, even with a shirt on backwards, that’s a win!

Even if it’s your natural tendency, you have to let things go. There is not enough time in the day to have everything perfect all day. There are other things that are more important that the laundry being finished every day. So, figuring out those things for yourself is the best way to get started in deciding what needs to change.

If you would like to delegate your organizing, whether it’s because you can’t seem to make it “perfect” or you just don’t have the time to do it the way you’d like, reach out and we can discuss how our organizing services can help you!

When you have a moment, rather than trying to check things off your to do list, see what you can do to help your perfectionist tendencies and give yourself some time back!

And as a side note for those who feel this perfectionist pull and have trouble starting something because of the fear of not doing it “perfect,” I have been working on this blog post for a month. I keep rewriting it and trying to make it the best I can. However, today is the day to post it so here we go!